you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
