People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize