I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
