does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
