I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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