If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
