I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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