Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
