i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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