Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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