??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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