It's Friday. Sex?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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