the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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