he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
