My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My life is pants optional.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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