Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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