his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
