laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize