We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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