Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
