I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sober January is a disaster.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
