Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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