i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
