hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
