Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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