Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
