Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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