I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
