i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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