So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
