You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
