I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
