Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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