Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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