I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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