i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
