do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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