My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
