We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
