Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize