you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
