Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
