chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
