i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there's paper in my vomit.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Randomize
