i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
