I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
