it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
