You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize