There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
