Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize