I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We are two peas in an std pod
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
