everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
