You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
