Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
