I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
