You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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