Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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