the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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