I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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