just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
