It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize