I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
