I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the day after is always just damage control
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
