Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
